There are tons of books, some are depressing and some help you come out of whatever slumber you are in. This book, My Heart and Other Black Holes by Jasmine Warga is heart wrenching and gut twisting. I never cry while reading books. Some where in the back of my mind, I know that whatever is happening is not to me, so I don’t cry. This book made me almost cry. However, I did not like this book very much.
Also before you get into the book, you need to know that this book deals with depression and suicide.
These are some of the good things about this book
This book is about Aysel (Uh-Zell) finding out a way from her depression. She is  depressed because of something her father has done. Everyone in the school keeps their distance from her. As if whatever she is going through is contagious. Instead of coming to her aid, people push her away and she also does the same thing. The result being friendless Aysel, unitil she meets her suicide partner.
Naturally after some time, Aysel slides into depression. She is sad all the time and even her mom and step sisters are not that into talking to her. After that incident, her mom didn’t even talk to her about her father. That was one more pressing concern on her. She thinks that she can’t endure all this and tries to off herself. However, she lacks the courage to do so.
While browsing online, she finds this suicide partners website and meets a partner who is ready to do it with her.
From there the actual story starts..
Aysel, is so predictable and easy to understand. Sure, there are complications and problems in her life but nothing she can’t deal with. We see the inner feelings of the people under depression. One other thing I liked about this story is the little suspense of what terrible thing her father did and why he did it. We won’t get to know the real reason of Aysel’s decision till the end. It really did keep me hooked till the end.
The character is a physics nerd and she tries to see death in terms of potential and kinetic energy. That is one cool thing about this book. Aysel, wonders what happens to all the potential energy when someone dies and she remembers the physics law “Energy can neither be created nor destroyed” and she just wonders…
This really added more character to Aysel. I liked the story and the little twists in the plot.
I really liked how the author described Aysel, and her suicide partner, Roman (A.KA. Frozenrobot). Both the characters want to die, and they help each other do it. Frozenrobot, thinks Aysel is a flake and only she knows that she is not.
Some not so pretty stuff…
Aysel, she is a mess. I know that is what the book is supposed to be, but I strongly dislike unorganised people. She constantly plots her death. But why? I know you have a lot of problems Aysel, but just get some help… talk to your mother and sister. Talk to someone for crying out loud.
At every point of time, I seriously think she could have gotten help, if she wanted to. It is as if she is not even trying to live. All she wants to do is die. The plot is A okay, but the characters not so much.
Frozen robot and Aysel experience an emotional journey where they try to fix each other. That is so sweet,  but why don’t you think you are worthy of living? Also, the reason why Aysel is planning to commit suicide for is just worthless. I know some people are introverts and they can’t express their feelings and all. But why can’t she even try to do it.
Overall, the book was a good read and liked most of it. But there were parts where it felt draggy and the author sure tested my patience in some parts. I would give it a 4 star but I have to say that I didn’t entirely like it. It was a good story but it seemed so cliché. After reading Fault in my stars and All the Bright places, I have a standard in my mind for this sort of books. So, I will give it a three stars..
Untill next time
Sritha Bandla