This column in my blog is dedicated to all my obsessions. Well, this is more dedicated to stuff that comes from no where. Really, It happens to me a lot. I suddenly think of stuff like – me flying? Let me not exaceberate things. I care to write about things which need to be written. Just like my out of the blue thoughts.

# The one about my startup

I really don’t think people would be intrested in my recent life updates, but I need get somethings out of my chaotic mind. My mind is not always chaotic but sometimes I can’t seem to comprehend things that easily. In february this year, I became a part of something, we meant to me a lot. I never thought I would be a part of something which I always wanted. But I was. I am still part of it.
A startup which actually showed me the other way. It poured some life into my already dying college life. It was not about my grades or freinds. Lacking something which you longed for – a reason to spend your time on something. I didn’t have it few months back. Now, I have a reason to sit infront of my laptop and work. Now, I am actually getting to the bottom of myself. Now, I learned to see the things in a different way. All this has happened because of a startup. That was like pulling me from my own pit and acquitting me in the wilderness. It is scary when I am in the wilderness but it is kind of soothing. A feel for home and passion to walk around and poke the holes.
I feel free and liberated from my own misery. I never had guts in me to do all the things I did after I became a part of this. Now I know I can do things. Believe it or not I am big fat introvert. I cover it up so much. I act as if I am not. I put on this facade all the time and walk around the people saying what I am strictly against is nothing to care about. Just so I feel belonged. It never helped me any better. Still I do it. Because I want to feel the belonging and the connection with my freinds. I never could do that. Bottom line I am an introvert loved to be an introvert. When you love something so much you can  never really change it. Now, can you? God could be so morbid?
Yeah! that is me being myself. I get bored of myself sometimes. I have no idea why I even think of stuff like that. Can’t I just see what everybody is seeing and throbbing to enjoy? I guess I can never see what others see. I live in an abyss which can never be filled. No matter what you do, how much you pour into it, that will still be an abyss never filled. May be half filled but never fully filled which can actually bring me out that.
Coming back to the startup, it is an 3D printing startup and my freind started it. Everything was fine and amazing till we realized the ultimate. We always knew in the bottom of our hearts that is never going to be completed. We never spoke out loud. I aways pushed that stupid thought away. It seems that we have to hold the fort and deconstruct it slowly. May be someday we might be able to actually pull the stunt we set to do.
I really need to concentrate on other things at this stage of my life. May be it is better this way. We actually accepted something and we can do something about it. What can I possibly do if the universe is against what we are doing! ( No I am just kiding, I believe in science DUH!)
Let me know about your thoughts on my little out of the blue article.
Say Cheese – at least once in a day 🙂
Sritha Bandla